"Okay, class, today I am going to read you all the story: The double life of Shikhandini: Caught between a rock and a hard place," Mrs. Steinberg declared to the class. As Mrs. Steinberg walked towards the front of her 3rd grade class, she inhaled deeply and started to recite the story.
"There once was a mighty King named Drupada who ruled over the illustrious land of Southern Panchala. Now King Drupada was not your ordinary King. He was very in-tune with his emotions, hence why he got the nickname King "Droopy" from the people of the land."
Every little one in the classroom started to laugh hysterically. One little boy got up and said "Look, I'm King Droopy," and put his fingers in his mouth to change the expression of his smile to resemble a sad face. Once Mrs. Steinberg got her class to settle down she continued with the story.
"But one thing that King Drupada wanted more than anything in the world was a daughter to call his own. So one night he went outside to the balcony, looked up at the big bright moon which was known as Shiva, and prayed to the moon for a daughter. One thing that most people didn’t know about the moon was that it was wish-granting machine."
A little star came down from the sky carrying a message for King Drupada saying, "I will grant your wish as you shall be patient my child."
"King Drupada screeched with excitement and went to bed. The following morning his wife greeted him with wonderful news. She was expecting a child, but not just one. They were having twins. King Drupada was so overwhelmed with emotions that he started to kiss the ground right under his feet."
"Eww" yelled out all of the small children of the classroom. "He is going to have foot fungus mouth after kissing the floor," a little boy cried out. Mrs. Steinberg got her class to settle down once again and she continued with the story.
"Once the day came for the King's children to be born, the kingdom was overwhelmed with news. The Queen bore a girl, but the son did not make it. There was a sense of sadness as the King did not know how to cope with the news of his child's death. One thing that the King did not know was that the Queen tricked her husband and told him that their daughter had died after birth and that their son lived. The King did not know was that their daughter survived and the son died. So the Queen named their daughter Shikhandin, which was the male version of Shikhandini."
"As Shikhandin was growing up, the Queen made sure that she grew up to be a tomboy. The Queen would dress her like a boy, made sure that she hung out with all of the boys, and she even cut her hair into a boyish cut. One thing that the Queen made Shikhandin promise her was that she was to never tell the King that she was a girl. One night, before the King went to bed, he stopped in Shikhandin's room. He explained that there would be time when he would pass on and that one day the throne would belong to her. Overwhelmed by her emotions, Shikhandin hugged the King tightly, looked him in his eyes, and told him that he had been fooled by the Queen and that she was indeed the daughter that he never had."
The eyes of the little children became extremely big as Mrs. Steinberg was telling the story. One little girl even covered her eyes as the suspense grew from the story.
"The King was so outraged that he scurried out of her room quickly. So scared for what her father might do, Shikhandin ran away to the forest to seek refuge. That is where she met Sthuna, a young yaksha that took her under his wing. After weeks of staying with the yaksha, Shikhandin explained that she missed her family back at Panchala. So she asked the yaksha one little request and the simple request was to make her into a man. The yaksha looked at Shikhandin quizzically and asked her why would she wanted to change her appearance. He said that she was beautiful the way she was. Shikhandin started to cry and explain that no one wanted her the way that she was. The yaksha agreed to change her into a man, provided that Shikhandini came back when King Drupada had made peace with the Queen."
Before Mrs. Steinberg could continue with the story. The alarm started to go off, and a fire drill interrupted story time.
(To be continued).
Author's Note: I liked the story of Shikhandi and how The King prayed to Shiva. In the original story it talked about how King Drupada begs Shiva for a son to help defeat Drona. Shiva grants his prayer but says he will have a child that would first be a daughter, and then a son. The queen has a child, and she raises the girl as a boy, trusting in Shiva's promise. The queen names her Shikhandini, but she uses the male form of that name instead Shikhandin. Drupada arranges for Shikhandin to marry a princess, but when the princess's father finds out Shikhandin is really Shikhdanini, he is outraged and threatens to wage war on Drupada. I think that the first thing that stuck out to me about this story was that it seemed that she had an internal struggle to fit the need of her mother. To me I kind of took it as though her mom didn’t accept her for who she was and so she had a slight insecurity. One thing that I think is interesting is the origin of names. I thought that it was really interesting how closely related some of the names were and that you could easily change the meaning of a name with one letter. I don’t know what made me decide to go with the theme of a 3rd grade classroom, but I thought that it would have been easier to tell the story that way. I wanted to relate the story to image issues that kids have. They have to deal with what society deems as being fit, so I wanted to tie my story to that issue. However, I wanted to finish the story, but it would've been too long for the post. Hopefully, I will be able to finish the story for next week.
Hi Jordan, I enjoyed your story telling for this week. I liked how you presented this story in a 3rd grade setting. I started laughing out loud when I read how the students responded to Drupada’s response to hearing the pleasant news from his wife. It was very funny. I just felt it was so cruel of the mother trying to change the identity of her own daughter and playing a cruel joke on her husband. It was a nice story.
ReplyDeleteHi Jordan! I really enjoyed your story! This was a different text than what I worked on so it was really cool hearing a completely new story. I think the idea of framing it as a story-within-a-story is a really smart idea, and having an intermediary audience as responsive and emotive as a third-grade class allows for some really fun commentary on the events of the story. I think the story was pretty well told. You do a really nice job of characterizing the king and Shikhandin; I'm just really curious as to why the Queen would play such a cruel trick! I also really liked your formatting. The story was easy to read and the spacing helped set the pace. The only error I think I saw was in the eighth paragraph, I think you repeated a sentence. Otherwise, it was really easy to read. All in all, it was a really great story! I look forward to reading the second half.
ReplyDeleteHi Jordan! I really enjoyed reading your story this week. Your background for the story is very dark. I at first didn't like this, but as I read the story I didn't mind. Overall, I really liked the 3rd grade classroom setting. I agree that it probably made your story easier to tell. I liked the pauses in the story where we were able to get the reaction of the kids. I could hear their voices in my head. I honestly did not know much about the story you told, but I liked the way that you appeared to have made it your own. I know in your story you added to be continued, and I really hope you do continue this story. There seems to be a lot you can work with. I was a little confused by your picture, but I think that's mainly because I couldn't read what it was. The color is yellowish on the white, which made it very hard to read. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Jordan! I really like the layout and design you chose for your portfolio. I really like the dark colors you incorporated and I think it suites your stories well. I like how you told the story in a third grade classroom setting. I think you told the story well and I enjoyed reading the kids' responses. I am interested in reading what happens next. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting and creative style. I like how you not only made it a 'story within a story' but you catered the story to a more child-like audience. Simplifying the story to be told to your group of children in the story gives a creative voice to your version of this story. I also like how, instead of rushing the story, you found a way to break it apart without interrupting the flow of the story. You kept character and found a way to insert a type of 'to be continued' break. I also loved the children's reactions to the story. It was super adorable! This story was very creative and you did a good job giving the story a more appropriate for children vibe. Good work! I also think your background fits well with this story because the globe reminds me of a classroom. In every single one of my elementary school classrooms, we had at least one globe and it really fits with the setting of your story.
ReplyDeleteHi Jordan! I really enjoyed your story and I absolutely loved the writing style that you used to convey your story. I have not dabbled into the storytelling type of style but from just reading a lot of peoples stories I see that there are several different ways that you can take it and make it your own. I love how the kids would interrupt the story as it starts to get tense with their little blurbs. It gives a little more freedom to add a bit of silliness in the tale. I enjoyed the telling of the origin of Shikhandin. I wrote a story on Shikhandin as well, but it was more in the time of the great war. When Amba was reborn as a male warrior and named Shikhandi. I really enjoyed reading on the background of this character and look forward to other stories from you! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI just finished week nines story and decided to go back and read this story and what a treat! You really know how to show the children in these stories. I think that the continuity between the stories is a good idea and I wish I had used it. I think that this method will get students to come back and read your stories every week I know I will.
ReplyDeleteHi Jordan! This was a great story, and it had a lot of different elements that really made the whole thing fit together nicely. First, I loved how you incorporated the classroom into the story. The way you made use of your frame tale was advanced, specifically because you didn't want us to forget that the story was being told in a classroom. The few points where we stopped in the story because the children were reacting was so true to life that it made me smile. Rarely are groups of children still for an entire story, and only when it gets really good are they quiet. One specific grammar thing I just remembered; in paragraph nine, the last sentence gets fairly pronoun heavy and I had to read it through a couple times to keep track of who all of the he's and she's really were. This is especially tough with Shikhandin having multiple pronouns, which makes this passage an easy place to get confused.
ReplyDeleteHi Jordan! I really enjoyed reading this story. You did a great job! I like the way you used the children to help further your story. The overall content of your story was great. I thought the format and spacing were easy to read and I like that you added two different pictures in your story. My favorite part of your story was reading the input that the kids had. Great job! I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHi Jordan! I think this is the third time I've visited your portfolio.. And it has yet to disappoint. I really like how you tell the story as a teacher telling it to her students. I remember you did this for one other story in your portfolio and I think it is a very captivating approach. Since it's being read to children, the story is told in a very simplistic way that is very easy to follow. You also do a very good job of lightening the mood with the little childish remarks made by the students, like when they all laughed about the "Mr. Droopy". I did not find any errors in grammar or punctuation. I think overall it was written very well. It flows very nicely and is very easy to follow. I also thought you did a very good job with the physical spacing of the text and the placements of the images. Great job!
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